baby gear

[updated for 2015] okay, so by now you know, we're not huge babycrap consumers. we don't have the disposable income nor the sheer consumerism that is intrinsic to corporatized popular culture. most of our stuff is used, hand-me-downs, home-made and/or uh, well-loved.

there are a few kid things though that we would be willing to pay full retail price for (while scouring the internet for coupon codes & discounts of course!). for parents who ascribe to a parenting values that fosters humanity over materialism (sometimes called "continuum concept" or "attachment parenting"), it may seem a conundrum to find a list of consumer goods. and yet, here it is, in all its glory. yours for free (rather than to try & encourage you to shop in my WAHM store. that would be my next project.)

firstly, i recommend Alternative Gift Registry (relaunched as SoKindRegistry.org) where you can "register" for gifts of your choice whether homemade, used or non-material.

Baby Hammock-(that is not my chunky monkey over there). A mini-hammock plus a lambskin is what coaxed my baby to nap sans parent. Now, you can buy the European fancy pants ones (like the La Siesta Yayita which I got for baby #2) for beaucoup or make your own (like here), but for sheer efficiency/ingenuity, you can't beat a Việt hammock. This is 4 feet long and can take up to 100 lbs or 4 yr old. We have the adult sized one, but space is precious. The smaller footprint and portability works for us. If you can find someone who likes you enough to lug it back from Việt Nam, it's less than $20 plus the exasperation of an import favor. If you live near Little Sài Gòn (OC) or San Jose, it's $35-45 depending how well you bargain. Trung's parents got us the Trường Thợ which would not pass a child safety check having lots of sharp edges and bolts/screws that like to wiggle loose (and they are now out of business see DL link below). The Ban Mai (pictured above) which we've picked up for friends at the Buddhist votive store, is nicer (caps on the ends of the pipes, curved brace) ; all the BM imports I've seen have gender-neutral (for VN) PINK frames. Though I heard that the hammock was too taut/too shallow but it could be we bought a bad imported batch. Duy Lợi is the original shining beacon-to-3rd-World-entrepeneurs-David who took on Goliath (Japan & Tai
wan bootleggers) in 2 international patent cases and WON. oh and Duy Loi won against the other VN bootlegger TT too. whoa! Vinamese bootlegging is like the Cửu Long|9 Dragons of the Mekong Delta--widespread, impossible to circumnavigate or dam, and integral to the economy and yet Duy did it, making him the mackdaddy of entrepeneurs. DL has some awesome space age designs. Funny that in the 21st Century, Vinamese ingenuity can be patented. Anyways, I haven't seen Duy Lợi baby in the San Jose shops but it could be different now that TT is shutdown. Now that we have a dog, we got La Siesta Yayita organic hammock for the baby #2 that we are mounting to the ceiling and when s/he is older, we'll look for a toddler one. We are going DIY with the hanging hardware.

And of course the the almighty European wood convertible highchairs that go from baby to adult; I do like me multi-functionality (Stokke Tripp Trapp is the OG, Svan is nice, as is the Keekaroo and my new obsession is the Minui HandySitt). The family value with this is having baby be an integrated part of the family dinner table instead of held at a distance; though trying to eat the dinner at the same time as feeding the baby is a whole nutha matter. this thing is like a jeep; it's bluebook value never depreciates. it's a scandalous $170-250 new (I rationalize high ticket purchase by Quality, Use-per-wear, and Resale Value). and you can sometimes find good quality used ones on craigslist going for half the price. we got a tripp trapp knockoff, the eurochair I used (about 8 years old) off craigslist for $22. and i can say though it's some life left in it, the quality is not that great. it really cannot take adult weight; the foot board and back bars have cracks from over-tightening, the framing is coming apart on the bottom so I gotta gorillaglue it, and the varnish is rubbed off on spots. luckily, a little olive oil & vinegar puts the shine back in. (hey natural parenting means natural cleaners.) Recently I discover the HandySitt which is a Danish

portable highchair that goes from infant to 5 years (*bought out by Stokke and now sadly, discontinued). It's really a clever folding booster that attaches to your regular adult chairs so that means not having to displace your regular dining chair. Given our small space, the footprint of baby gear matters.

sophie la giraffe oh yes, its geneology is pure french colonization, but this rubber giraffe is the only soft teether not made from some form of petro-plastic. $20  I no longer recommend Sophie because of the nitrosamines controversy. Currently I am using a Natursutten pacifier and trying the frozen wet washcloth. I avoid silicone as it has been shown to leach.

Hoppediz Bondolino it's a German Oeko-Tek certified soft structured carrier (SSC)--a mei tai with ergonomics and velcro. I love the ease in adjustment to each parents' size and the lack of muffin top that you get with all the buckled SSCs, but this is really a 2 season carrier. With all that padding, it won't get you through warm springs and hot summers. They now have lighterweight Bondolinos but they are difficult to come by on the US market. It's no longer available in the US market, which is a damned shame so I'd recommend looking at other mei tai inspired soft structured carriers.  The Ergobaby 360 is a comparable SSC but I have not tried this. I've gotten the regular Ergo and the Beco Butterfly II and it didn't work for my 95th-percentile-in-weight thick baby and on my petite, busty frame. I'm currently loving the Babyhawk Oh Mei which has a buckle waist. I love the buckle which makes a huge load bearing difference for my giant baby. I actually got the Babyhawk mei tai as a hand-me-down which I retrofitted with a Beco buckle. My biggest criticism of this brand is that the panel is not contoured for baby's body so there is gapping on  the sides.

HUGS selendang--Indonesian batik baby carrier. Lovely and practical and it can get you through all seasons but the worst of winters and even then as long as baby was bundled inside your ginormous parka, you'd be okay. I still use this one with all 37 lbs of VL with the knot at my shoulder now. It's only $29 and it benefits women in Bali. You can also make your own for only a little bit less with quilting cotton or habotai silk but you'll have to hem it. 35" width is perfect for use as a sling so if your fabric is wider and you hem on the long side of it, I've noticed that the it'll have less give/elasticity unless you use loose stitches.

WOOL anything--particularly for stuff that involves bodily fluids or fire--breastpads, biobottom wool diaper covers (I like now-discontinued biobottoms and loveybums as well as aristocrats & disana soakers), wool puddle pads, wool pillowtops, and wool mattresses (did u know your mattress doubles its weight in 7 years from sweat, dustmites & skin oil? and that you cannot buy an organic cotton mattress without a doctor's prescription? true story. your mattress by law has to contain flame retardent carcinogenic chemicals unless your doctor says otherwise OR unless you buy wool. because wool is naturally absorbent, water repellant, anti-bacterial, and fire retardent. because how often do you see a moist, mangy sheep on fire?)

PUDDLE PAD Also, whether you have baby in crib or in bed with you (and at least while you have a newborn, keeping her in bed with you is less tiresome for those all night feedings) you will want a puddle pad. I tried a regular "cotton" one from carters and it made me sweat all night because they have to put some vinyl or something in it to keep it from leaking. So I switched over to wool which absorbs, is anti-bacterial, etc. If you wanted something soft that you can lay baby directly on, I recommend Organic Caboose Puddle Pad (go for the thicker one).

For the family bed, if you want a puddle pad that will go under a sheet or to cover your mattress, I recommend this organic Foam Order one on clearance. It's scratchy so it goes under the sheet and you'll want 2 to have a double layer guarantee but it's still cheaper than buying organic full price anywhere else.

LAMBSKIN Those germans and their purity--history has shown us the down side, on the up side that means they make great children's products free from harmful chemicals. Sheepskin pelt was perfect for naps and travel. I was crazy enough to buy an organic, eco-friendly, mimosa-tanned Kaiser lambskin pelt the first time around; it's practically unwashable without destroying the leather. I should have gone with the Kaiser machine washable one. both are Oeko-Tek certified). And when we needed a second one, I was saner and just got a typical Oeko-Tek certified New Zealand Bowron Infant for a fantastic price of $65 on overstock. Whatever brand you go with, make sure it's for infant use; they won't use the more toxic tanning agents and will shear the pelt to a safer, low level. You can also find these used on BPN or CL.

After experimenting with a few types of diaper covers (Aristocrats & LanaCare pull-ons, Wool Stacinators), I settled on BioBottoms Bikini Cut as being the easiest for nighttime changes since it has velcro, not buttons that you have to count, which is a good thing at 3am. Being wool, you can use them thru several pees without washing them. Just change them out to dry in between. You can machine or handwash on lukewarm but you must use a lanolin-rich soap like Eucalan (decent & you can use on other handwashables, but not a lot of lanolin), Sheepish Grins (*I like) or Kookaburra or Imse Vimse (haven't tried). I have learned when it comes to wool diaper covers (some of which are NOT machine washable) that it is better to buy new than used. I can't trust that someone else will take care of the covers like I would. If you are going to buy used, check for shrinkage and check the elastic!

We used a diaper service for the first 4-6 months. Then I started to gradually buy our own cloth diapers. DSQ cloth diapers (that's Diaper Service Quality) for reasons unknown to me are extra long. Maybe this is for boy babies who need the extra foldover for absorbency? I don't know. But I like Clotheez which are exactly the length of of the diaper cover. No bulky foldovers. Cloth diapers are bulky enough as it is. American baby clothes are not made for cloth diapers so I found that baby outfits were useless and VL always had to wear up several sizes on the bottoms. Of course she's been out of diapers completely since she was around 18 months (elimination communication method!) and still has to wear several sizes up but that's because she's got such a juicy tush. I will say I am eyeing the Disana tie on diapers. These go from newborn to toddler. I saw a disana starter kit on eBay but since we have most of what we need already, it wouldn't work for us.

Evenflo glass bottles. A classic. Completely safe from harmful chemicals. And you can just freeze your milk in the bottle so no need for the breastmilk trays (though if you do end up needing breastmilk trays, Sensible Lines 1-oz actually fit into the bottle mouth. It's BPA-free which means that the tray and lid are always challenging to snap shut without spillage)...

My kid outgrew the Radian seat at the crotch and seat base. We're currently using a Britax Frontier Clicktight. These go on sale annually in September. Sunshine Kids Radian 80SL or XTSL (This is now rebranded as Diono.)
It's convertible so you use it from birth to 80 lbs; used rear-facing to 45lbs which is important because kids don't whiplash so much as internally decapitate. (PSA: Keep your kids rear-facing as long as possible. The youtube crash test dummy videos of rearfacing carseat vs forward-facing are chilling.) It comes with all the infant cushions, so you don't need to buy additional. It is made of steel alloy has a great crash test rating oh and also, it has one of the lowest toxicity ratings. oh and it folds flat, and has the leanest profile so you can fit 3 in a backseat in a sedan! The difference with the XT is it has an adjustable head rest for taller kids, and Side impact protection. Carseat.org has reviews of how it fits in different make/model cars, If you travel alot, then you'll want to get the carseat carrier. Although this thing advertises itself as portable, it only comes with one strap and it's heavy (hello, steel) but it folds up and therefore is less hard on your back than those car seat bucket seat monstrosities which will cause a hernia if you have to lug them around. Diapers.com sometimes has a 10% off coupon for new users and can be combined with 10% off from a friend's account. Or you can wait until Nov or December when this year's model goes on sale for 30% off. 

I happened to get a good deal on Zoobies Pet on BabySteals.com for half off retail. It's a 3-in-1 stuffed animal companion, pillow & blanket. VL loves her orangutan even if everyone else hates it. It is a little hairy and it sheds. So if I had a do-over I'd get the giraffe or zebra or tiger or bear. But of course those CUTE popular ones are not the ones that you get on a discount site. The only drawback is I think the owners are Mormon and of course it's made from synthetic fabrics. some SAHM/WAHM needs to innovate one with cottons/wool.

After resisting for 2.5 years, I have succumbed to the highly priced allure of the Learning Tower. We got one from the grandparents (we chipped in). VL loves to bake and help with cooking. When she was in her two's, she fell from the stool/step ladder with sad frequency. This thing is great for the paranoid parent and doubles as a playhouse (multi-functionality!) Costco has it for way under retail including a playhouse kit! She even uses it to wash the dishes. Yes, I make my toddler wash dishes. Of course those dishes are all enamel coated metal. After years of getting annoyed at the wood bowls from Asian stores & Ikea which cracked, varnish rubbed off, etc. and were hecka pricey, we got a set of enamel dishware for camping which was way cheaper than those "eco" kids dishes flooding the market now. It's camping season so we got it for $25. Maybe your local big box retailer will have it on discount when all the camp gear goes back into storage...

Other than a dresser and clothes that we got as a hand-me-down, that was it for our baby gear. Now that we are gearing up for baby #2, we've only added a few things to the list.

Cloth diaper changing stations. First time around we used a basket. This time I am going to hack/repurpose a painter workbag for the cloth diaper changing station--cloth diapers, flannel wipes, snappis, homemade baby wipe spray and/or hot water pump, homemade butt balm. We still are planning on doing diaper-free baby/elimination communication but since we started from 4 most last time, we don't know how that'll be with a newborn. I am eyeing the Raskog kitchen cart as a hacked diaper trolley but hubby is a little resistant.

Stroller
We didn't use a stroller so much with baby #1 as we carrier/wore her a lot. When we finally did get one, we mostly used it to haul the diaper bag and crap rather than the kid. So for this time around, I have specific requirements. At almost 7 yo, my 1st kid is too big to ride along so that leaves out all those double/2 seat/buggy board options. I need a one-hand push, mid-weight/not too heavy, singleton stroller with wheels that can handle some terrain (okay, like the park lawn and unpaved trails), and decent storage capacity. After lots of consideration I settled on the BOB Motion stroller with we got on year-end sale at REI. I added the BOB sun shield option and a Zen Kids stroller organizer/console.

We definitely need a new dresser for just the baby which we'll most likely buy used.

And my husband just made a new shelf/headboard for platform bed using lumber, brackets, milk paint, and tung oil.

See my pinterest for baby gear pins and wishlist.

war on germs

I think the reason that the debate on vaccines is so heated on this is because it's an intensely personal parenting decision that is also intensely political. My take on all this is philosophical. The dominant metaphor and paradigm for larger Western society is warfare. The medical industrial complex is steeped in that framework, treating disease and bacteria as enemy combatants, and valuing profit over evidence-based protocols. So that's the context in which the billion dollar vaccination industry was developed.

When we look at the mortality rate associated with any given disease, let's say polio, we'll see that the mortality rate was dropping with the advent of industrialization and better sanitation--prior to the introduction of a polio vaccine. The early polio vaccines were "live" and many people who were vaccinated contracted polio from the vaccine itself before they recalled it. Most pro-vaccine lit only looks at the period immediately after vaccines were introduced as "proof" that they work. Without that larger historical context, yes, it's easy to attribute the salvation of the human race to vaccines.

Even with the recent pertussis outbreak, if you look at the population dying, it's typically very poor children, and in Cali, undocumented Latino immigrant children, who are more likely to have poor nutrition and poor health. Yet rather than address the underlying factors of poverty and anti-immigrant health policies, the DPH is telling the general population to vaccinate.

Let's look at Gardasil as another example--this vaccine for females which supposedly prevents genital warts, an STD, which can lead to cervical cancer. This was fasttracked onto the market and is the controversial subject of mandatory vaccination laws. It's been around a few years now and the deaths or sterilization or other vaccine injury of young girls is only beginning to make the FDA take a second look. What is manifestly clear to me, is that vaccines are a massive human guinea pig experiment funded and fueled by the pharmaceutical industry.

Anyways, I recommend Aviva Jill Romm's Vaccinations book over Dr. Sears. She is a midwife, herbalist and now MD. She actually explains the fine print of what are the benefits, risks & adverse reactions to vaccinations (i.e. what your doctor is supposed to tell you) AND how the disease manifests and it's risks so that one can make a truly informed decision. It's the only book I found to discuss the disease itself.

Final tangent (sorry there's no returns in here): It's only very recently that it's become profitable to understand the immune system and commodify non-invasive healing modalities (i.e. indigenous or traditional healing systems). Hence the sudden commercialization of probiotics as the "friendly" bacteria after decades of vilifying bacteria and creating the self-perpetuated problem of "super-bacteria" which are immune to antibiotics. From a holistic standpoint, the human body exists because of bacteria; we live in symbiosis with bacteria and it's not until our body is out of balance that the bacteria become harmful. In that context, we need to re-evaluate the supremacy of Western medicine and its paradigm over all other traditional modalities.

And as parents, we have to weigh and balance all those personal, political, social, financial factors and make the best decisions for our families. (As a side note, in true service of humanity, India patented their traditional system of healing under Creative Commons license to prevent the continued theft of "intellectual property/patent" by pharmeceutical corporations.)

growing pains

Babies are very smart and every thing they do has developmental purpose.

Having an experienced family chiropractor who worked with pregnant women and babies was my maternal salvation from the first time parent anxiety. My chiro mentioned to me how much the cranial plates shift in the first few years as babies' heads make fantastical growth. Sometimes, the cranial plates get a little stuck.

Ever notice how one eye seems smaller than the other at times? It's because the cranial plates near the ear of the smaller eye are a little stuck. Creating pressure in the cranium helps to alleviate the pressure and move the plates--so breastfeeding/nursing/sucking is physiologically and developmentally critical for babies in their cranial development. Sometimes when cranial plates get stuck and sucking doesn't help, the pressure of those cranial "growing pains" causes them to bang their heads or suck on random things or other "odd" repetitive behavior that the medical profession dismisses as phases or meaningless. So headbanging can sometimes help get the cranial plates get unstuck as a last (frustrated) resort.

Teething can also cause similar behavior. If you have access to a craniosacral therapy (chiropractor or massage therapist) it is very gentle and can really help babies to transition through all those growing pains without banging their heads in frustration. I highly recommend going at least once with your infant and asking them to show you how to do some of the techniques if you can't afford to go alot.

If you don't have access to craniosacral therapy, try giving her/him a light scalp/cranial massage. Feel for the grooves between the cranial plates above the ears, around the fontanelle (soft spot in back of head) and with your two thumbs gently gently move them apart. It won't feel like anything is happening or actually moving, but can help get it unstuck. Letting baby suck on something while you do this helps baby to move those cranial plates. I would do this while breastfeeding. There are other specialized techniques as well (like the ear tugging thing which I've been shown how to do but don't really know how to do so I leave it to the trained expert).

non-toxic baby products

i've got chemical sensitivities. i know this sounds like some Bay Area hippy psychosomatic thing, but ever since i was a kid, i would always get unexplained rashes and all my blood tests come out with elevated levels of eocinophils (white blood cells; in other words, my immune system is constantly on the offense). the worst outbreak was after we painted the house in the late 80s and i swolled up. not just my skin, but also my lips & eyeballs to the point we called poison control who were absolutely useless by the way. bathing in baking soda only addressed the symptoms. if you have ever had swollen fish eyeballs you understand that this is not some crazy imaginary thing i made up in my head. my immune system just doesn't handle very well the thousands of toxic chemicals that have become increasingly present in our society & environment. ever since then, i've been sensitive to chemical vapors including most synthetic perfumes/fragrances, deodorizers, etc. and i became more sensitive under the stress & duress of grad school.

so upside is we try to be as ecologically responsible and non-toxic as possible on a very tight budget. when we remodelled our fixer upper, we went as non-toxic as we could afford--non-formaldehyde treated lumber, non-off-gassing insulation, milk paint (and when that didn't work out b/c of the vinyl joint compound, non-VOC paint). i also went on a gluten/wheat-free and dairy-free diet the year before I got pregnant. it was really hard, but i'm lucky to be living in the epicenter of all things hippy and natural and near a gluten-free bakery. my allergies almost completely went away. of course, i fell off the wagon but i keep meaning to purge wheat & dairy yet again.

it's not always affordable to buy non-chemically treated organic products though so a neat trick that i recently learned

• vinegar vinegar vinegar! strips away toxic chemicals!
  
• carpet cleaner-mix mild soap (castile or natural soap) with vinegar
  
• baby products-(tip is from Organic Grace) wash all new baby products with a cup to a cup and a half of vinegar. This removes a good amount of the toxic flame retardent chemicals that most baby products are coated in. You can remove padding from car seats, swings etc. Wash new non-organic clothing with it. Use a drop of lavender essential oil in the wash to make it smell nice and soothe baby.

And of course, good ole consumer products which I've thoroughly researched on EWG and a few other online sites. This is not exhaustive because I tend to buy the least toxic one and once I find one that is adequate to my purpose, not experiment with others, new or emerging. I suppose if I was a paid blogger/reviewer I would try and be more comprehensive.

• Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom Balm has the best diaper rash/first aid balm. Cleared up VL's milk allergy bottom rashes.
  
• I use EMAB baby soap/shampoo which is a castile soap. Castile soaps tend not to strip so it feels a little tacky on her hair. While VL doesn't have the (luxuriant) thickness of my hair, she definitely has my hair waviness plus. So it's better not to use stripping shampoos on her. But I don't like the feel of castile soap on hair. I've switched to using my organic Aubrey Island Natural shampoo and conditioner (a must for her curls!) on her which has fantastic results on her hair, but of course it's not baby soap so if it gets in her eyes, she cries. I've switched to using natural handmilled bar soap and Dr. Bronner's Baby Mild. It's way less expensive than EMAB castile soap. But I've got to find a toddler-friendly, wave-friendly conditioner.
  
• Gaia Natural Baby Conditioning Detangler-everyone I know loves California Baby, and while it's better than Johnson & Johnson by farI'm still a little horrified that it contains antimicrobial ingredients polyaminopropyl biguanide. I had to buy Gaia products from Canada when I first got it around a year ago. It's available on a major monopoly webstore now which if you are going to buy from it at least find an affiliated charity/non-profit that will get a minuscule percentage of the sale. [It looks like California Baby reformulated without anti-microbials. We're giving it a try now. We picked it up at Tarzhay]
  
• Nature's Baby Ah-choo Chest Balm for colds. Total late night anxious parent saver.
  
• Weleda Sunscreen Spf 18 This German homeopathic brand is nice though EWG supposedly docks them for their use of fragrance that is essential oil-based and therefore not toxic petro-based. Germans have a thing with purity (and yes, that is a major historical/cultural generalization but I'm anthropologically minded so get over it) so I tend to "trust" their products more; they make the best non-toxic toys and were the original innovators of the baby wrap sling in the 70s. I don't know enough about the chemistry of fragrance to know if it is truly toxic or not, but though the smell is assertive, it doesn't irritate me. You really have to have yellow-undertones for this sunscreen. Some folks have said it leaves them pasty. It comes out of the tube creamy yellow already. I like it though I haven't refilled because it is expensive and hard to find. I did find that the Pharmaca in Rockridge has it.
  
• TruKid Face stick SPF 30-great for when you are in a hurry. You have to rub it in pretty good. The mom who owns this has her HQ in West Oakland and is happy to have pick up orders which mean no shipping & handling charges and sometimes, ahem, tax discount. She gave me free lotion (too strong smelling and kid-fruity for me) and samples! VL associates facestick sunscreen with facepainting. She says "con mèo|cat" and meows everytime we put it on her.
  
• Loving Naturals Sunscreen SPF 30-we used this in Hawaii, intermittently. We liked it well enough though once your hands get greasy, the cheap sticker label ink rubs entirely off which is slightly annoying to have questionable ink flakes all over your body and then a now unlabelled white bottle. Like most mineral-based sunscreens, it starts off purply tinted and then is supposed to absorb.
• I just got Badger sunscreen SPF 30 and Facestick. They have the lowest toxic rating on EWG. I love their balms which contain only natural pronounceable ingredients from plants. Like LN above, you got to rub it in very well. Not waterproof and you must reapply frequently. T & I got a mild burn from 5 hours of Tahoe sun and a single application.
  
• We've mostly used reusable flannel wipes for VL along with butt/diaper spray (punkin butt has their in house brand and there's also another one which name I forget), but now that she is a messy toddler, we occasionally indulge in the ubiquitous disposable baby wipes. I hated how soapy Earth's Best is, so we found this European brand Nature Babycare. It claims to be biodegradable and it actually works great for gentle cleaning. It doesn't sting either. Our local Farmer Joe's has it, but only the scented one. I prefer the unscented which I got bulk offa the monopoly capitalist named above (affiliated non-profit link)

motherhood booklist

**new updates!**

it's been a while since my last booklist. so in honor of my new identity in life. it's time for my parenthood booklist

Pregnancy & Birth

• Hearts & Hands: A midwife's guide to pregnancy and birth, 4th ed, by Elizabeth Davis (master midwife) a guide to the care of a pregnant woman and her partner. for someone who only knows the hospital/medical model from TV and movies, this book opens up a new world of caring approach to life's most sacred rite of passage. i took the Hearts & Hands Midwifery Intensive to learn about the field and became a doula through it. i really appreciate Elizabeth's wisdom, sensitivity and spirituality. i'm looking forward to taking more classes with her in the future. who knows i may yet become a midwife myself.
  
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin (the Mother of Modern Midwifery) down-to-earth and centered in the natural wisdom of women's capacity to birth. positive birthstories along with evidence-based facts. i love the simple truth of the sphincter law. love your yoni.
• Complete Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger really talks about the hormonal & biological underpinnings of birth and breastfeeding. though the bias is towards natural birth, the book that equally values the birthing choices that women make, neat week-by-week progression with photos of a mom and graphics of baby and cool photos of waterbirth, homebirth and hospital birth.
• Birthing From Within by Pamela England an intuitive and creative woman-centered, woman-led approach to birthing from labor preparation to comfort techniques.
• Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year by Susun Weed.all the herbal remedies you need to support a woman's constitution before & during pregnancy, during childbirth and postpartum. i learned that all the plants considered weeds by american society are actually medicinal and stem from a long healer tradition of well woman care (or in modern parlance sue them for practicing without a medical license). so patriarchal hegemony didn't just burn some healer-midwives as witches, it also succeeded in vilifying the healer's plants which at that time couldn't be privatized and commidified as with medicine. after all these years post-grad school, i finally discover some meaningful relevance to Weber's thesis about the protestant ethic undergirding capitalism. that's my new excuse for not mowing our lawn. if only i could convince the City Public Works of that cuz you get majorly fined for not mowing your lawn and for having "weeds.
• kellymom.com okay so this isn't a book, but i found the info here on breastfeeding more informative than a certain lactation advocacy organization and even more helpful than my lactation consultant at times (though she was great for moral support!). i totally credit Lily for the referral
  

Parenting

• Our Babies, Our Selves: How Culture and Biology shape the way we parent by Meredith Small the biological roots for cultural parenting practices. reiterated for me why some of my instinctive/cultural modes of parenting like bedsharing, breastfeeding, and diaper-free were what's best for my child in spite of mainstream denunciation.
• Baby Matters: what your doctor may not tell you about caring for your baby by Linda Palmer, DC some folks call this the only book you need for attachment parenting. affirms the set of values as well as backs it up with scientific evidence. really changed the way i think of cow's milk.
• Meditations for New Mothers by Beth Wilson Saavedra nice little mother affirmations and thoughts to meditate on in the brief snatches of time you get between feedings, pottying/diapering, naps, etc.
• Mothering magazine great articles about natural pregnancy, childbirth and parenting
• Giving the Love that Heals by Harville Hendris & Helen Hunt (no, not that Helen Hunt) about personal transformation and conscious parenting; how to heal your own childhood wounds so you can stop passing on your baggage to your kids.
• All About Love: new visions by bell hooks okay so this isn't about parenting per se. it is about self-actualization and being a loving person.
• Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child, 2nd ed. this is a really great book we received from Szymon as a baby shower gift (awesome!) that lists common childhood ailments and gives you integrated treatments from western/allopathic medicine, homepathic, nutritional supplements, acupressure and herbal treatments. all those inconsolable, fever, projectile vomit ni
  
• Vaccinations: A Thoughful Parent's Guide by Aviva Jill Romm we're trying to make informed choices about vaccine scheduling.
• The Diaper Free Baby: the natural toilet training alternative by Christine Gross-Loh i liked this book for being very flexible and non-zealous about being diaper-free.
  

Honorary mentions

• Fathering Right from the Start: Straight Talk About Pregnancy, Birth andBeyond by Jack Heinowitz

n-squared home training

so i recently sent out our family groundrules for VL to my immediate family since we have our set of values that may or may not be shared and the holidays (prime gift giving season) are approaching. our primary value is protecting our daughter from materialism/commodification and toxins. nothing controversial, no comment on religion or politics, no judgement on other families' rules.

the reactions i got were kinda funny. my ma sez "Sorry dear, your daughter will be so sad with no funs for the first 5 year in her life." which i think is hilarious because like my ma's own childhood in rural VN did not have any of the things we ban from our house and i'm sure she had funs (weo after doing her chores that is). and she herself pointed out to me that all the food she grew up on was organic because pesticides (and agent orange and napalm) hadn't been introduced yet. and for the first five years of his life and the first three years of my sis' in central VN, my siblings played with family, household objects and objects in nature with little detrimental impact on their imaginations or body burden unlike the toys & material objects of today's modern household.

my step dad who would be chief offender on all counts (especially candy, red dye and princess stuff) said nothing. he doesn't ever check his email except for once a year when he has me un-close his email account or set up a new email for him when i come visit for the holidays. to be fair, he also generously gives us lots of cash to buy clothes and savings bonds for school and helps us with travel money too.

my bro who might be potentially a giver of the battery-operated, plastic kind (like Whack-A-Mole which would be so cool if they made a wood version) didn't respond either. it's cool. as an uncle, i fully expect him to pass along his gourmand predilections to the child with full appreciation for the ways he's introduced me to good food all my life (first caviar, first truffles, first crab cakes, first clam dip, first sake bombers, first gourmet meals, first fine champagne... and the list goes on.).

my sis who gives very thoughtful and wonderfully handcrafted gifts sez "It's truly more blessed to give than receive." sure, at the same time, i guess i'm more pragmatic when it comes to gifts, why waste other people's money on things i don't want or we don't allow? we didn't register for wedding gifts, we went the traditional route (and by this i mean vinamese tradition) and got cash gifts which paid for the reception; for the baby registry i asked people to get stuff used from craigslist and asked for cloth diapering supplies mostly and most folks gave cash with which we were very grateful to purchase all the stuff we needed, some new, alot of it used. registries themselves are wishlists of things you want, which practice i find eminently practical, but it's only socially acceptable to have registries on major social rites of passage rather than events like holidays & birthdays. and sometimes, people buy you things off registry anyways which can result in something delightful that you wouldn't have bought for yourself (like a digital labeller! awesome!) and sometimes results in something that makes you go huh? (like the talking Stewie doll. you do realize one, i'm like in my 30s and don't collect dolls from animated TV shows. and two, i didn't have a TV for most of the nineties & 00s, right bro? i didn't even ever watch the family guy or the simpsons.)

i don't care for the social ballet of receiving gifts with one hand with genuine appreciation for the gift giver's intention of course, and some white lie nicety about using it, and passing it behind my back and with the other hand returning or recycling it.

my ma frequently gives me new & used clothes, shoes & avon products (she's an avon lady) and while i love her care & thoughtfulness, i always have to return them to her because it doesn't fit (i have a very different body type from my ma--i take after my paternal grandmother--and a different style sensibility because i'm in my 30s, not my 50s nor what she projects 30s ought dress like [um, ma, i don't go clubbing anymore and certainly not while i was pregnant. weo, only once and it was really just a bar and it was really no fun hanging out with smoking, emeryville quasi-hipsters at Kitty's, and anyways, i don't wear sheer blue leopard print chiffon because no one needs to see my big belly, navel & stretch marks. but then, in her 30s ma was a clubbin' disco queen and i have the photos to prove it!] and she thinks i'm bigger than i am or my feet are smaller than they are.) and i'm allergic to the cheap synthetic toxic chemicals in avon products. for some years i took the gifts and re-distributed them to friends, but nowadays, i don't have room in my luggage nor space in my house nor time to do that. so i thank you ma, and i can't use this because... happily, my ma isn't neurotic (in that way at least) and doesn't take it personal.

of course, our choices are political and spiritual in essence especially because what we want for our daughter and how we choose to go about getting there runs counter to dominant popular culture (and unfortunately what constitutes popular culture is corporate marketing). my cousins have nicknamed the baby "Moonbeam" for a reason. shrug. we love each other; we don't have to love each other's parenting choices. (and funnily enough i had considered naming the baby Moon something in vinamese Nga or Nguyet, but the english transliteration would really butcher the cadence of it. and we ended up choosing a historical name rather than a poetic one.) so this is how we do it in the n2 household:

• no princess stuff
• all natural materials like cotton, wool or wood are preferred
• no plastic toys, no battery-operated toys. toys should be educational or stimulate the imagination
• no corporate logos on the clothes (example: anything that has Disney on it, Tommy, Polo, Old Navy, etc). she's a baby not an advertising billboard
• no commercialized product tie-ins. no Disney, no Pixar, no Hello Kitty/Sanrio or TV cartoon characters like Dora or Sponge Bob. no hypersexualized toys like trampy Barbie or hooker Bratz dolls.
  
• no TV until she is 5 yo
• gently used, second-hand & hand-me-downs in good condition are great. what's important is the sentiment and utility, not the cost
• no princess stuff
• no dairy (this means no butter or milk or ice cream), no candy or artificial dyes in food (especially red)
• homemade is lovely too
• oh, and no princess stuff.

postscript: actually, it is socially acceptable to have "wishlists" so we started one for VL on alternativegiftregistry.org.

38 weeks-lightening

weo, bé's head has dropped. this means that bé's head has descended into the pelvic region & sitting on top of my cervix (this is also called lightening not to be confused with lightning, though it does feel electrifying at times). i've been carrying low for a few weeks now, but wasn't quite ready on any level. bé and i have been in conversation about that; i let bé know i needed a few weeks to get ready. respecting my wishes, bé would yo-yo down for a brief touch & go but not linger for longer than my startled gasp before nestling her/his butt under my ribs again.

i've been doing prenatal chiro (specifically network chiro & webster technique) which has been a major blessing in terms of alleviating my chronic pain and adjusting my pelvis & uterus. last week, chiro told me that my pubic symphisis was torqued & stuck. i wasn't surprised, i've been dealing with that off and on for the last 7 years. sometimes it's been so bad my left leg had been shorter by more than an inch. what made this significant now is that meant that the pregnancy relaxin hormone wasn't getting into that joint and it wasn't loosening up like it's sposed to for birth. i wonder for how many other women have had trauma/injury that's impacted their hips & pelvic joints and don't get prenatal chiro treatment during pregnancy and unknowingly get misdiagnosed with cephalopelvic disorder (meaning baby's head is sposedly too big to fit through the pelvis) resulting in unnecessary C-section. (the US has double the rate of cesareans than what is globally considered safe; 80% of doctors admitted they will perform a cesarean to avoid liability and i'm betting the other 20% do it because they have a golf game in Kauai scheduled.) how many cesareans could be prevented with prenatal chiropractic treatment? anyways, my uterus is finally relatively symmetrical as well. it's funny how your cells & organs have these habitual holding patterns that they like to revert to and it takes a lot of encouragement and de-stressing for them to change for the better. my midwife also had me take evening primrose oil to help soften the joint. and after two painful adjustment sessions last week (fortunately though humans are hardwired to forget pain), my pelvis has been loosening as it should.

last night, T. and i practiced labor exercises and found what works for us both. T. lead me through different relaxation techniques and guided meditation. now that we have the birth tub and our birth team is in place (midwife, midwife's assistant, doula & her assistant), i told bé that it was okay to go deeper into my pelvis now, to start practicing, that we are a team and i need his/her help to get through labor; s/he knows what s/he is sposed to do. immediately, and i do mean immediately, bé went deep. every time i gasped at the electrifying sensation bé would pull back a little until i learned not to greet her/him with such chagrin. and got used to the sensation of a head on my cervix. i'm still getting used to not having a little butt lodged under my ribcage. it rather feels like a tennis ball is lodged in my left pelvis. now i know where the preggo-waddle comes from.

bé stayed down there all night. i could feel her/him in my pelvis every time i got up to go pee or eat. i even had a couple of real contractions last night, not the braxton-hicks uterine tightening, but the uterine menstrual kind.

so, we're getting closer. of course we still have to wait for T. to start parental leave and my mom to get here on the 25th before we'll truly be ready.

the funny thing is that after ignoring me for all of the second trimester, týtý has usurped rồngtý on my lap (what little space there is with a huge belly in the way), is the first to greet me in the mornings (and sometimes when i do my wee hours of the morning wee breaks), gotten even more wily about darting into the bedroom especially in the wee hours, and is generally following me around more than usual. maybe she can sense what's up and is asserting her feminine prerogative to be my midwife. (factoid: feral sister cats will midwife each other and co-raise their kittens together. neat huh! i mean lionesses do it, so its not entirely alien behavior to the genus.) there is something about the energy of birth that transcends species. i've attended two animal births by the mamma's persistent insistence (one was our chowchow Ling-Ling, one was my ex's aunty's cat whose name i forget. she was so appreciative, she tried to give me one of the newborn kittens but i told it needed her more). it remains to be seen how our cats will react to homebirth. they will either go completely spastic and turbo around the house and up the walls which they already do 2-3 times a day (in which case they will be banished to the back bedroom), or they will try to reassure us in their feline fashion as they are wont to do when i'm deep breathing through a braxton. as long as they stay out of the birth tub, we're good.

36 weeks

36 is the magic number. means we are out of preemie range and baby can come any time now. we are conversating with baby asking for at least 3 weeks grace. we still have a few things to be ready. i'm in good spirits, though easily fatigued. we did an Ikea run last sunday. what did i get? irritable. belligerent. somewhat violent. costco makes me that way too. i've gained somewhere along 30 lbs; got abdominal stretchmarks (it's hereditary folks. all the cocoa butter in the world ain't gonna change your genes); navel has not popped; no swelling or shoe size changes; just a gnarly charley horse just in my left calf. i'm back to back sleeping because sleeping on my sides aggravates my herniated disk/pre-existing sciataca and still having lots of braxtons from doing too much. in these last couple of weeks i'm bumping up the prenatal chiro. it helps that T.'s supplemental insurance covers it where my own doesn't. (random good news, my PPO is partially reimbursing us for the homebirth! yay! and for the birthtub! y'know it costs $250 to rent a birth tub from local entrepeneurs. but it costs just $185 to buy one from the Waterbirth non-profit--ok $285 if you buy the accessories kit b/c are you really going to blow it up with your mouth?. so we're buying the hospital grade one which is $300 + kit, getting partially reimbursed and then donating it to our midwife.)

i started maternity leave on friday. it's fantastic! on my last day of work, i was as giddy as a 13 year old after having consumed pixie sticks, pica, and fundip washed down with some pineapple nehi soda. i actually managed to finish editing, laying out & formatting the annual report. or at least as much of it as had actually been turned in to me prior to me leaving. i didn't finish a myriad of other tasks, but i don't seem to care.

of course this meant that i was 35 minutes late to my own "surprise" workplace baby shower. typical. seem like i am always on some deadline minutes before a party in my honor. it was a "surprise" because i hadn't really expected anything (trung lied well for once. should i be concerned at his new ability?) and because it was a combo farewell party for Chanda who left the organization so i didn't it had anything to do with me until Chanda called me that pm to say she was running late from her new job and btw what kind of dessert did i want her to pick up for my party.

friday dawned blue and clear if a trifle crisp. one of the rare clear days of the year thus far. it's been record-breaking storms for the last month interspersed with occasional patches of sun.
a perfect day to begin maternity leave. had my prenatal chiro, ran costco errand with Chanda's help in preparation for the community baby shower. got some great cotton fleece at Stonemountain for a baby blanket, reusable flannel baby wipes, and a co-sleeping pad (why pay $200 for the retail version when mom is gonna help me make one for $50?). this markup on baby products is outrageous for eco-conscious parents on a tiiiight budget. an organic baby blanket can cost in the range of $100. i found the softest organic cotton fleece for $25/yd. slap on some trim and voila. it's a homemade organic blanket for less than $30 plus labor. but that's love so you can't really put a price on that.

of course, i haven't taken my sewing machine out of the storage closet yet. so i'll let you know how i feel about DIY parenting when i'm tangled in interlock thread.

for the crafty among you. here are my upcoming baby projects:
*reusable flannel baby wipes (just need to cut & serge the edges)
*two-sided flannel receiving blanket. still deciding if i should use trim.
*doubleknit big bad baby blanket in alpaca & silk yarn. first i have to finish the blanket for Le-Anh (it's gorgeous btw, Trang)
*co-sleeping pad (mom's helping me with this.)

i will update about my mother's blessingway and the coed baby shower later, when we've uploaded the photos.

suffice to say i feel very blessed to entering the community of mothers. and my girlfriends are amazing. Dr. Tuyen hooked me up with a gorgeous quilt with collective contributions from my gals. 3 weeks, 10 hour days. that's love.

20 weeks

i feel pregnant.

um, no duh, right? somewhere in the last few weeks the whole enterprise became real to me. maybe it was the baby quickening or the way my belly doubled in size between week 16 and now (i've gained 3 inches on my bust & hips and 7 inches on my waist since B.P. hubba hubba) or the lack of any of the "typical" signs of pregnancy (no vomiting, nausea, or bizarre midnite cravings). somewhere along the way, it became real. the baby became real.

did i mention the sleep deprivation? oh yes, prolly cuz i have back issues to begin with, i have increasingly gotten less and less restful sleep as the nighttime peeing has not abated and as the pressure on my spine made it impossible to sleep on my back (my favored position since slipping down some stairs years ago. twice.) nor on my side. the sense of my center of gravity being pulled forward and the tendency to swayback & slouch has me all off kilter. let me not underplay this, my spine hurts. my leftside nerves are literally fried. if you have ever had spinal/nerve injuries you understand the agony. i spent all of sunday on the couch just to recuperate from the lack of sleep the rest of the week (in addition to recovering from working overtime).

formerly pregnant women (aka mothers) talk about pillows. so many pillows your partner is exiled to sleep on the couch. mythical pillows. i tried every position, arrangement and pillow in the house--the bradley method (yes, there's a bradley method of sleeping. bradley is a husband coached natural childbirth method. not the same thing as Lamaze which is designed to facilitate the hospital staff's process of birth and has a 80-90% incidence of medicated birth.), pillows under my side & head and between the legs; i tried a pregnancy wedge, sofa throw pilllows. to no avail. i understand now why some pregnant women drop some serious cash on these ginormous pregnancy pillows (what do they do in VN where the wood "dining" table is the bed?). it steadily got worse over the last couple of weeks til i was reduced to tears of exhaustion. and even pregnant, i still don't cry easily. in that state if any mother said boo to me about pillows i prolly would have snarled and gone for the jugular. so it was a good thing i wasnt around any that particular meltdown day. though i won't vouchsafe for T. or my co-workers' post-L. stress disorder.

and then, oh joy! i discovered the magical pillow configuration (cue the paradise music). since i found the squashy couch immanently more comfortable (and 10's pillowtop guest bed in Sac) it stood to reason i needed more give (we have an extra firm organic rubber mattress with a wool mattress pad primarily so we can avoid the toxic off-gassing of most american beds. euro beds for reasons established elsewhere do not contain toxic chemicals.) so we doubled up a thick comforter and last night a down comforter as well on my side of the bed which is now raised above T.'s side six inches and that--plus a folded towel under my side and the pregnancy wedge pillow jammed in the small of my back for anti-tipping (any comments about cow-tipping will earn you stinkeye, a knuckle sandwich and The Finger)--did it. i'm still test-sleeping the diameter of the leg pillow also called gối ôm|hugging pillow in vinamese though for obvious reasons i call them phallic pillows.

so why am i up at 4am? the other pregnancy thing. i'm hungry. waiting for my hardboiled egg to cook. (my genius tip for peeling hardboiled eggs: using a teaspoon crack the wide end of the egg where the air pocket is. peel off just the air pocket. dip the spoon in the water and then slip in between the egg & membrane. circle the egg as you work your way towards the small end. the shell should peel off whole or in a long strip. this doesn't work as well with soft-boiled eggs because the membrane clings a little harder to the egg but still is easier than manual peeling.)

btw we heard bé's heartbeat at our prenatal on saturday. we gave in to the doppler. T. was more assured by hearing it than me, but then i have bé to keep me acrobatic company all day & night. still haven't conclusively ruled twins out. belly growth in next few weeks will really be diagnostic.

the quickening

no, the quickening is not when the lifeforce of one beheaded Immortal is released into another. yet another violent metaphoric co-optation of birth. (and unbelievably, T. has yet to see The Highlander. where was he in the 80s?! he never heard Sean Connery say in his thick scottish brogue "there can only be one!" what a deprived childhood. i sense Highlander film fest!)

the Quickening is the moment when the baby's movement is intuited by the mother. by pre-technology/pre-20th century standards, it is the beginning of Life.

now the darling pregnancy books all say that it starts after 16 weeks when the bones begin to harden (most primaparous/firsttime mothers feel it around 20 weeks) and that it feels like butterflies or fluttering. how precious.

so not what i am feeling. i thought the gurgling, twinges and uterine cramp-stretching i've been feeling over the last two weeks was gas or uterine growth or ligaments adjusting to the prenatal chiro. and then as trung lay his palm over my abdomen a few nights ago and felt the erratic pulsing himself, it dawned on us, that's bé and s/he is seriously punching me! now it makes sense why a few weeks ago (at 16.5 weeks), i woke T. up in the middle of the night hollering in my sleep "STOP POKING ME!" i wish i could say it's precious being kicked in the cojones by tiny paws. it rather feels like kittens in one's sweater--squirming into a toasty position and then a rumpus when rồngtý picks a fight with tiêntý's tail and then they squirm into a new cozy position. bé likes to use my bladder as a gas pedal "đi mao len đi má!|go, mommy go!"

it is rather endearing though. we still haven't heard the bé's heartbeat on the fetascope, but we can *hear* bé moving--rather, elbowing me womb, must be T.'s karate genes--with the fetascope. (is there two? how can bé move so fast from one end of my uterus to the other?) i like that our first proof of Life is a shared, sensory/sensual experience, both our hands on my belly, and not from some device.

i swear it's just eating very well at 10 & 11's wedding weekend, but i didn't flatten out the next morning. lots of good food (and a wee bit of caffeine). major overnight growth spurt. i could hardly sleep for all the womb-commotion. we're in official baby bump territory.

the transformation to motherhood is a trip. your skin stretches, your womb expands, your heart grows, your soul unfolds.

plastic morals

i'm utterly scandalized by the series of Mattel recalls.

now, they are doing it voluntarily. is it because they care about children's health? nope. it's because they are afraid of the liability--the lawsuits & backlash that will be generated from the scandal mongering publicity.

it's quite easy to point the finger at China for shoddy manufacturing standards. and yes, it is shady on China's part and it's also the case that the US loves to scapegoat China for economic ills since the 1700s. however let's look a little deeper. Mattel is recalling voluntary while the government remains curiously silent (let's contrast this govt response to the E. Coli breakout in processed spinach or other contagious diseases like mad cow, hoof & mouth, drug-resistant TB...). we could also ask how could our government allow this to happen?

after all 85% of the world's toys are made in China and not one of the European and other industrialized countries are issuing recalls. huh? why the disparity? weo, our government does not have strict regulations on importing toxins in manufactured products because of the powerful chemical industry lobby. The European Union, Korea, Taiwan, among others have evidence-based (from American scientists btw) strict bans on lead, endocrine-disrupters (phthlates), carcinogens and other toxins in children's toys. the US ignores the same evidence (or are bribed by the chemical industry to ignore) and allows toxins in all plastic products. the same Chinese manufacturer which is producing a toxin-free toy for export to Europe is also manufacturing the identical toxin-laden toy for US export.

now it's easy to compartmentalize this as an issue of children's health or of pet health as the case may be, but it's a human health issue, an ecological issue. these phthlates, carcinogens, toxic chemicals are present in most (if not all) plastics and many common consumer products, mattresses & furniture, cleaning products, cosmetics/nail polish, etc. it's almost completely unregulated--except of course what little consumer products the US manufactures for export, since most of that is regulated by other countries' standards to exclude toxic chemicals. in fact the European Union dumps all the toxic toys (and other consumer products) they don't allow in their countries to the US market. ironic right?

preggie snacks

though i don't snack so much as have a small meal (hence second breakfast and second lunch, i do on occasion snack. patics when there is no fridge/kitchen/restaurant in sight). ergo, the best pregnancy snacks ever:

• seaweed--contains iron, folic acid and loads of minerals similar in composition to the human body and it flushes out lead & mercury! i love the toasted korean kind with sesame oil & salt. my favorite brand "Well-being" is sprinkled with black sesame. and y'know, the darker the berry, the more nutritious the juice. the toasting kills some nutrients, but it's still tasty.
  
• bananas with almond butter and maybe some honey drizzled over--some protein, carbs & fiber to get me through the night. that elvis knew a thing about it. and this month he is sposedly 30 years dead.
  
• broiled bananas--it's like fried bananas without the fried, add some coconut sorbet and mmm! who needs to make a run to the Thai restaurant. or some grated dark chocolate spinkled over. yumyum!
  
• macadamia nuts--protein & iron to tide you over in between the second breakfast and the first lunch. i'm over walnuts right now. i first trimestered them into untastiness. no macadamia i will never tire of. i used to pick macadamia from the bush on the side of the house on Piikoi crack'em open with rocks and eat 'em raw. i so missed the flavor that my mom once pulled over and asked a random neighbor if she could pick their macadamias for me. yup, i love being the baby of the family.
  
• mangoes--preferably green with nước mấm đường|fish sauce & sugar OR muối ớt|salt & fresh chile. if they're ripe, then eaten godzilla-style: with skin on, slice mangoes parallel to seed. leave skin on and cut the flesh into cubes without breaking the skin (like an avocado). the victorious sibling gets to eat the best part, the seed. take the cubed slice in the skin and flip it inside out and eat them like godzilla eating all the buildings in downtown Tokyo. reminds me of my childhood on Piikoi Street picking all the green mangoes to my parents perpetual dismay since they preferred it ripe.
• almond butter & raspberry preserves on rudy's organic multi-grain spelt bread--i'm on this wheat & dairy-free diet for my allergies (it's been great! no allergies this spring). and this brand and kind of spelt bread is the only thing that doesnt taste like sawdust or uber-healthy brick bread. peanuts actually being ground legumes absorb soil toxins like a sponge, so almonds are better for you in addition to being good for you. this is my there's nothing in the fridge i want to eat and yet i'm hungry option. i haven't gotten tired of it yet thankfully.
  
• coconut juice--what's there to say? it's like a sports drink only au naturel choc full of calcium & iron and minerals. keep an eye on this as the next new natural health trend.
  
• tamarind--this was our favorite movie snack. forget popcorn. crack open the thin shell, peel the fibers and it's mouthwateringly tart and only slightly sweet. only chile could make this better. this is why i love mexican candy.
  
• dandelion tea/infusion--this pretty weed has loads of calcium folic acid & iron (more than spinach!) and it helps to flush your liver (dee pehl eez in dee rirver). infusion is more concentrated than tea. it's easy to do and its a damn sight cheaper to buy in bulk than to buy pre-bagged tea.
  
• raspberry leaf tea/infusion--tones your uterus and iron galore! hmm, shall we say pussy galore?
  

DIY baby hammock

who invented hammocks? no one knows for sure, but it was folks in the tropics, caribbean, latin america. all i know is that it is ingenious.

in VN, there is just about a hammock for every adult. every household has at least 4 steel screw hooks bolted into the studs for an instant midday siesta. even government offices close down to beat the tropical heat for lunch & a siesta. though i wonder if they too have hammock hooks tucked in the back. socialist bureaucrats need to snooze off the heat too. indeed the modern vinamese american household has an ancestral altar, a large flat screen TV, karaoke, and a made-in-vietnam steel-framed hammock (and usually some elder firmly ensconced while watchin the newest Pa-Ri Bai Nai|Paris By Night variety show spectacle or phim chưởng|chinese period serial martial art soap opera or cải lương|southern vinamese melodic storytelling). growing up in honolulu, i was lulled to sleep in hammocks from the time i was born. and i was so glad when my mom *finally* found the hammock she got for me in VN in 2001 buried in the depths of the garage which the two older kids use as free storage. (and before you siblings protest the unfairness of that generalization, all i know is that all my stuff was in the shed that exploded and burned down in dad's "shed incident." the only stuff i have in the garage is what mom has been stockpiling for years in the anticipation of another grandchild.) we lugged that hammock shit up from SanD posthaste. and believe me, it wasn't easy.

now that t&i are at that procreating time, we're trying to evade the consumer mentality manufactured by the billion dollar baby product industry, and society at large. looking to expand its market and profit margin and led by multi-culty parents, the baby product industry is beginning to embrace and commodify the "natural" ways the rest of the non-industrial world has raised billions of babies. co-sleeping, baby carriers/slings, attachment parenting, elimination communication, practices & crafts/artifacts the world over are are making their way in the mainstream, being trademarked, branded and packaged as a westernized consumer product.

i'm predicting that hammocks are the next big baby thing. there is one american brand complete with a frame and padded hammock. aussie & kiwi's are getting in it too. why? because hammocks mimic the natural rhythm of in utero, they ergonomically conform to the baby's shape (unlike stiff flat mattresses), they are self-propelled (amazingly, a baby soothing product that doesn't require batteries. yet.) and, most importantly, unlike cribs they don't cost an arm and a leg. in the global context, it's important to remember that hammocks are safe to use because the baby is never left alone. there is always a caretaker whether parent, grandparent, extended family within ear's reach and unlike america, no one anywhere else in the world ignores a baby's cry believing that promotes independence rather than abandonment issues and SIDS.

when i was a kid i used to sit and draw blueprints for playhouses. really detailed blueprint of a playhouse with sunroof, down to the lumber sizes, number of nails, reinforcing beams, crossbeam supported foundation, weather-proofing, etc. i get this from ông ngoại|maternal grandfather who as a self-sufficient peasant could grow rice & produce, raise & train waterbuffalo, make bánh tết & banh chưng|new years sticky rice, pork & mung bean cake and kẹo mè|sesame candy from scratch, build a house from scrap lumber & palm tree fronds, and invent a flapping angel-wing harness for the christmas pageant. nowadays they call a person like him a "renaissance man"--though i'm fairly certain self-sufficiency pre-exists the renaissance & capitalism--i just call him ông ngoại.

so rather than pay $200 for some bourgie plastic & polyester version manufactured in some sweatshop in China that will offgas neural disrupters horribly and break apart or be recalled due to shoddy workmanship, i decide to DIY and make my own. who knows maybe i will make a business plan out of this. may as well make some money off of this. maybe i can market it as phong thuỷ|feng shui hammocks. no one has niche marketed oriental metaphysicism and baby products yet.

disclaimer: this is still under product development, so experiment at your own risk.

PORTABLE BABY HAMMOCK
can be installed anywhere there is a door frame or lintel

• begin with 2 iron industrial C-clamps (6-8 in width) these have a carrying load of 1200 lbs+ each so it can handle a baby no worries.

• circular rubber or silicon pads (glue to the clamp faces to prevent damage to the surface)

• 2.5-3 yards of heavy cotton, 8mm+ habotai silk (also called parachute silk because it is used for parachutes and also for portable hammocks. load of up to 400 lbs.) or sling suitable fabric (36-48 width). the bonus with using natural materials is that they wick away moisture and regulate temperature.
  

• folded up baby blanket or towel approx the size of the baby.
  

on both ends of the fabric, hem the fabric with a double or triple seam (can also interlock) leaving about 1-1.5" hem loop. thread each end of the looped hem over each of the C-clamps.

clamp the padded C-clamps above the door frame about 1.5' - 2' apart. this will give you a loose parabola.

place the folded baby blanket parallel to the 48" width of the fabric at the vertex of the parabola. this is very important! the baby will lay on top of the blanket. babies should not be placed in this hammock the way an adult would lay for this particular hammock. the legs of the parabola (which are around 48" wide) will prevent the baby from rolling out of the hammock.

lay a bunch of pillows & padding underneath the hammock just in case and test it with some phonebooks (or cats as the case may be) before putting your baby in.

as in all things, use common sense.

PERMANENT INSTALLATION (under construction)

1 steel heavy duty eye screw or screw hook (carrying load of 400+ lbs each)
2' dowel
whipping rope technique
carbiner or quick link
2.5-3 yards

..to be continued...

i started this on 7.5.07 but waited to post so i wouldn't let the cat out of the bag. will finish at some other date.

p.s. the C-Clamps don't work over the lintel. Back to the drawing board. Am considering the Miyo clamp but it's $50 and I'd have to import it from NZ...