she's here!

introducing VL
born at home on 2.26.2008 at 7.57pm
eyes wide open with her right hand grasping for life and plenty to say
6lbs 4 oz
19 inches of pure determination

38 weeks-lightening

weo, bé's head has dropped. this means that bé's head has descended into the pelvic region & sitting on top of my cervix (this is also called lightening not to be confused with lightning, though it does feel electrifying at times). i've been carrying low for a few weeks now, but wasn't quite ready on any level. bé and i have been in conversation about that; i let bé know i needed a few weeks to get ready. respecting my wishes, bé would yo-yo down for a brief touch & go but not linger for longer than my startled gasp before nestling her/his butt under my ribs again.

i've been doing prenatal chiro (specifically network chiro & webster technique) which has been a major blessing in terms of alleviating my chronic pain and adjusting my pelvis & uterus. last week, chiro told me that my pubic symphisis was torqued & stuck. i wasn't surprised, i've been dealing with that off and on for the last 7 years. sometimes it's been so bad my left leg had been shorter by more than an inch. what made this significant now is that meant that the pregnancy relaxin hormone wasn't getting into that joint and it wasn't loosening up like it's sposed to for birth. i wonder for how many other women have had trauma/injury that's impacted their hips & pelvic joints and don't get prenatal chiro treatment during pregnancy and unknowingly get misdiagnosed with cephalopelvic disorder (meaning baby's head is sposedly too big to fit through the pelvis) resulting in unnecessary C-section. (the US has double the rate of cesareans than what is globally considered safe; 80% of doctors admitted they will perform a cesarean to avoid liability and i'm betting the other 20% do it because they have a golf game in Kauai scheduled.) how many cesareans could be prevented with prenatal chiropractic treatment? anyways, my uterus is finally relatively symmetrical as well. it's funny how your cells & organs have these habitual holding patterns that they like to revert to and it takes a lot of encouragement and de-stressing for them to change for the better. my midwife also had me take evening primrose oil to help soften the joint. and after two painful adjustment sessions last week (fortunately though humans are hardwired to forget pain), my pelvis has been loosening as it should.

last night, T. and i practiced labor exercises and found what works for us both. T. lead me through different relaxation techniques and guided meditation. now that we have the birth tub and our birth team is in place (midwife, midwife's assistant, doula & her assistant), i told bé that it was okay to go deeper into my pelvis now, to start practicing, that we are a team and i need his/her help to get through labor; s/he knows what s/he is sposed to do. immediately, and i do mean immediately, bé went deep. every time i gasped at the electrifying sensation bé would pull back a little until i learned not to greet her/him with such chagrin. and got used to the sensation of a head on my cervix. i'm still getting used to not having a little butt lodged under my ribcage. it rather feels like a tennis ball is lodged in my left pelvis. now i know where the preggo-waddle comes from.

bé stayed down there all night. i could feel her/him in my pelvis every time i got up to go pee or eat. i even had a couple of real contractions last night, not the braxton-hicks uterine tightening, but the uterine menstrual kind.

so, we're getting closer. of course we still have to wait for T. to start parental leave and my mom to get here on the 25th before we'll truly be ready.

the funny thing is that after ignoring me for all of the second trimester, týtý has usurped rồngtý on my lap (what little space there is with a huge belly in the way), is the first to greet me in the mornings (and sometimes when i do my wee hours of the morning wee breaks), gotten even more wily about darting into the bedroom especially in the wee hours, and is generally following me around more than usual. maybe she can sense what's up and is asserting her feminine prerogative to be my midwife. (factoid: feral sister cats will midwife each other and co-raise their kittens together. neat huh! i mean lionesses do it, so its not entirely alien behavior to the genus.) there is something about the energy of birth that transcends species. i've attended two animal births by the mamma's persistent insistence (one was our chowchow Ling-Ling, one was my ex's aunty's cat whose name i forget. she was so appreciative, she tried to give me one of the newborn kittens but i told it needed her more). it remains to be seen how our cats will react to homebirth. they will either go completely spastic and turbo around the house and up the walls which they already do 2-3 times a day (in which case they will be banished to the back bedroom), or they will try to reassure us in their feline fashion as they are wont to do when i'm deep breathing through a braxton. as long as they stay out of the birth tub, we're good.

fertility charm

okay, i've been eagerly anticipating the public release since i first heard in early january. and its finally out...

my sister is pregnant!

i (not so) secretly believe its because i'm her fertility charm. twice now, she hangs out with me on vacation and during that time, lo & behold, she gets pregnant. coincidence or supernatural?

weo, of course her husband has 50% to do with this. duh. but i like to think i have a beneficial effect on the other 50% like alcohol did for my youngest aunty, happy vibes = implantation!

in any case, blessed day! blessed news! more babies!

36 weeks

36 is the magic number. means we are out of preemie range and baby can come any time now. we are conversating with baby asking for at least 3 weeks grace. we still have a few things to be ready. i'm in good spirits, though easily fatigued. we did an Ikea run last sunday. what did i get? irritable. belligerent. somewhat violent. costco makes me that way too. i've gained somewhere along 30 lbs; got abdominal stretchmarks (it's hereditary folks. all the cocoa butter in the world ain't gonna change your genes); navel has not popped; no swelling or shoe size changes; just a gnarly charley horse just in my left calf. i'm back to back sleeping because sleeping on my sides aggravates my herniated disk/pre-existing sciataca and still having lots of braxtons from doing too much. in these last couple of weeks i'm bumping up the prenatal chiro. it helps that T.'s supplemental insurance covers it where my own doesn't. (random good news, my PPO is partially reimbursing us for the homebirth! yay! and for the birthtub! y'know it costs $250 to rent a birth tub from local entrepeneurs. but it costs just $185 to buy one from the Waterbirth non-profit--ok $285 if you buy the accessories kit b/c are you really going to blow it up with your mouth?. so we're buying the hospital grade one which is $300 + kit, getting partially reimbursed and then donating it to our midwife.)

i started maternity leave on friday. it's fantastic! on my last day of work, i was as giddy as a 13 year old after having consumed pixie sticks, pica, and fundip washed down with some pineapple nehi soda. i actually managed to finish editing, laying out & formatting the annual report. or at least as much of it as had actually been turned in to me prior to me leaving. i didn't finish a myriad of other tasks, but i don't seem to care.

of course this meant that i was 35 minutes late to my own "surprise" workplace baby shower. typical. seem like i am always on some deadline minutes before a party in my honor. it was a "surprise" because i hadn't really expected anything (trung lied well for once. should i be concerned at his new ability?) and because it was a combo farewell party for Chanda who left the organization so i didn't it had anything to do with me until Chanda called me that pm to say she was running late from her new job and btw what kind of dessert did i want her to pick up for my party.

friday dawned blue and clear if a trifle crisp. one of the rare clear days of the year thus far. it's been record-breaking storms for the last month interspersed with occasional patches of sun.
a perfect day to begin maternity leave. had my prenatal chiro, ran costco errand with Chanda's help in preparation for the community baby shower. got some great cotton fleece at Stonemountain for a baby blanket, reusable flannel baby wipes, and a co-sleeping pad (why pay $200 for the retail version when mom is gonna help me make one for $50?). this markup on baby products is outrageous for eco-conscious parents on a tiiiight budget. an organic baby blanket can cost in the range of $100. i found the softest organic cotton fleece for $25/yd. slap on some trim and voila. it's a homemade organic blanket for less than $30 plus labor. but that's love so you can't really put a price on that.

of course, i haven't taken my sewing machine out of the storage closet yet. so i'll let you know how i feel about DIY parenting when i'm tangled in interlock thread.

for the crafty among you. here are my upcoming baby projects:
*reusable flannel baby wipes (just need to cut & serge the edges)
*two-sided flannel receiving blanket. still deciding if i should use trim.
*doubleknit big bad baby blanket in alpaca & silk yarn. first i have to finish the blanket for Le-Anh (it's gorgeous btw, Trang)
*co-sleeping pad (mom's helping me with this.)

i will update about my mother's blessingway and the coed baby shower later, when we've uploaded the photos.

suffice to say i feel very blessed to entering the community of mothers. and my girlfriends are amazing. Dr. Tuyen hooked me up with a gorgeous quilt with collective contributions from my gals. 3 weeks, 10 hour days. that's love.