PORKAGE PROCLAMATION

i have lately been informed by Hun (fantacist inventor of such infamy and verbiage that could only be reasonably deemed HUN-isms such as "Wouldn't the world be better off if Stevie Wonder were dead?" and therefore deserving of only a one name moniker like Bono or Cher or Madonna or Pele or Homer. or at the very least, A Blog Of His Own. though not a woolf, doesn't a six foot over angsty krean otter yearn for as much?) that today is National Pork Day.

i have only this and more to say--GENIOSITY!

y'know today, this very afternoon, i did NOT know about this auspicious event and YET, unknowingly, in perfect cosmic harmony, i made a BACON sandwich on generic whole wheat with Grey Poupon. in the words of that 80s infomercial, one eyebrow cocked quizzically and shatneresque, "Co-incidence. OR. Super-Natural? YOU. Decide."

WHEREAS Pork is acknowledged for its contribution to Agricultural Ecology, enabling the building of the Egyptian Pyramids along with the invention of beer, elevating the science of Gastronomy, and verily inspiring Humanity itself,

WHEREAS Pork is delicious to eat with Green Eggs, on a box, or with a fox,

WHEREAS Pork is the Other White Meat,

FORTHWITH, We the People Proclaim that Today is a Good Day to eat Pork and furthermore shall it be declared that ever after Pork shall be eaten on this Day.

APPROVED on this day the First of March, Day of the Porcine, in the Year of Our Pork Two Thousand and Seven.

Sowheeeeeeeee.

Th-th-that's all Folks.