T's 70-year-old, diabetic, partially deaf mợ 2|aunty #2 has been industriously sewing me a new bà bầu wardrobe pulling all nighters this week out of concern for my seeming lack of pregnancy-appropriate attire. i guess she missed the elastic waistband demonstrations or didn't think it was adequate.
it's one thing when it's malnourished brown orphans deprived of childhood and limbs industriously producing one's wardrobe piecemeal for pennies because there is the global economy, multinational corporations, layers of manufacturing subcontracting, clever marketing ploys, shiny store displays and discount store prices to buffer and inure me from the human consequences of my first world decadence.
it's a whole nother thing when it's your kin. and its heartfelt concern. and its muumuus. and they are made from love.
maybe like the golden garments of love that Ariel learned to spin from the depths of her heart for the wraiths in the fantasy novel DarkAngel, the muumuus will wear less burdensome than garb made from coercion, loathing and pain, and will wear lightly filled with the grace of compassion and the gift of sisterhood.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
stupid power tridux
so i have realized my other stupid power.* i have the distinct ability to make multiple analogies or metaphors relating to any given situation to accentuate, clarify, elucidate and obfuscate my intended communicative meaning. T. would say "the hyperbolic ability", but i think he is exaggerating. for the most part, this stupid power only manifests its ad infinitum extent in T.'s presence. prolly cuz i talk with him the most--in the morning as soon as i wake up (sometimes after he wakes up), in the car on the way to work (we work on the same block), during lunch, on the way to the parking garage, on the ride home, over dinner. we're nauseatingly cute lik dat. you get the idea.
example:
we are having homemade bún thịt bò xả|lemongrass beef noodles for our daily lunch together. i point out the blemish on the remaining half of the cucumber as T. is poised to slice. rather than divot out the spot, he cuts off the blemish and approximately 1/4 of the cucumber lengthwise. thus, wasting cucumber (a precious resource) and exposing the inner portion of the unused cucumber to dry out in the air (that will later have to be cut off before consumption).
me: that's like getting a papercut and cutting off the whole hand.
t (half chokes on his food, indignant but knows its true): not it's not.
me: now what are you going to do with the rest of the arm, dude? its hemorrhaging.
t (spluttering): it's not hemorrhaging.
me: that [unused] piece will dry out--
t: just cut the dry part off before you eat it.
me: so what ya gonna cut it off to the elbow? so wasteful.
to spite me, he eats the amputated portion of the cucumber around the blemish and the rest of the cucumber reserved for another meal.
really, when you think about it, my 2nd stupid power is an extension of this metaphoric ability on a historical, cultural, societal, literary, and infinitely tangential scale.
*a stupid power is a) useless though entertaining, at least to me, and b) could, potentially, under the right circumstances, at the last minute, under great duress, defeat Evil and Save The Day.
example:
we are having homemade bún thịt bò xả|lemongrass beef noodles for our daily lunch together. i point out the blemish on the remaining half of the cucumber as T. is poised to slice. rather than divot out the spot, he cuts off the blemish and approximately 1/4 of the cucumber lengthwise. thus, wasting cucumber (a precious resource) and exposing the inner portion of the unused cucumber to dry out in the air (that will later have to be cut off before consumption).
me: that's like getting a papercut and cutting off the whole hand.
t (half chokes on his food, indignant but knows its true): not it's not.
me: now what are you going to do with the rest of the arm, dude? its hemorrhaging.
t (spluttering): it's not hemorrhaging.
me: that [unused] piece will dry out--
t: just cut the dry part off before you eat it.
me: so what ya gonna cut it off to the elbow? so wasteful.
to spite me, he eats the amputated portion of the cucumber around the blemish and the rest of the cucumber reserved for another meal.
really, when you think about it, my 2nd stupid power is an extension of this metaphoric ability on a historical, cultural, societal, literary, and infinitely tangential scale.
*a stupid power is a) useless though entertaining, at least to me, and b) could, potentially, under the right circumstances, at the last minute, under great duress, defeat Evil and Save The Day.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
profundity
there are two valuable lessons i have learned over the decades upon entering the real contradictory grown-up world that requires one to wear non-wrinkled clothing and simultaneously textiles that encourage wrinkles. so i thought i would share them for your enlightenment.
1. Don't iron naked.
2. Don't iron clothes while you are wearing them.
there are other rules doubtless like "don't iron on the $1.99/sf cheap carpeting" (it melts). but these above are far more significant.
and if you do ever happen to ignore those rules, Traumeel homeopathic cream will heal without blistering.
1. Don't iron naked.
2. Don't iron clothes while you are wearing them.
there are other rules doubtless like "don't iron on the $1.99/sf cheap carpeting" (it melts). but these above are far more significant.
and if you do ever happen to ignore those rules, Traumeel homeopathic cream will heal without blistering.
Monday, September 10, 2007
robotech is dead
nonono! they are bringing 80s classic anime Robotech to the silver screen as a live action flick. starring Tobey Maguire. so sorry, this is not a joke. the Rick Hunter-Minmei-Lisa Hayes love triangle will be played out by (unpudgified and unsexy) Tobey, an underage overly sexualized barbie ingenue and a overly serious and sexually repressed brunette starlet.
Another winter day
Another grey reminder that what used to be
Has gone away.
It's really hard to see
How long we have to live with our insanity.
Another winter day
Another grey reminder that what used to be
Has gone away.
It's really hard to see
How long we have to live with our insanity.
We have to pay for all we use,
We never think before we light the fuse.
Look up! Look up! Look up!
The sky is falling.
Look up! There's something that
You have to do.
Before you try to go outside
To take in the view,
Look up because the sky
Could fall on you.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
fifteen
i was a trifle disconcerted last month by the idea, but discussing with our midwife Selena my moon cycle journal, LMP, spin, factoring in my bà ngoại's stroke, the womb blessing, my emotional/spiritual state at the probable times of ovulation & conception, and the location of my fundus (top of the uterus), i'm not as far along as previously thought. it had thrown me for a loop earlier because i had gotten so invested in the progressive week-by-week pregnancy/baby descriptions. i surprised myself how much of the pregnancy i was still externalizing to some western "authoritative" scientific text in spite of eschewing at least some of the unnecessary interventions of technology. shows you how much we internalize the western production of knowledge and the cartesian body-mind binary. i do have a cerebral tendency. earlier this year, i saw my sister's acupuncturist-chiropractor Dr. Dawn and she diagnosed my pulse and told me that i live in my head too much. she also surmised that i was the youngest child, and independent/headstrong/slightly rebellious. that wasn't from my pulse though, that was from the tattoos.
so now we collectively estimate that i'm 15 weeks along, making our due date March 1st. (this means Liz, that i wasn't pregnant yet when we saw you at Yan's 100 days.) Selena suggested i consider continuing hypnotherapy with Nancy (herself a former midwife) since emotional state profoundly influences birth and Anabelle's anniversary may jumpstart or stall labor. but between my out-of-pocket costs--prenatal bellydancing, tai chi class, going to chiro, childbirth preparation class, baby CPR certification, acupuncture co-pays, maternity clothes (!) and compensating the midwife (who is worth so much more than we can afford)--we can't afford it.
though my Uterus has obligingly cooperated by moving to the center of my abdomen, off of my herniated disk/sciatic nerve, she still is tilted way back. Selena palpated and faintly heard/felt bé's heartbeat with a fetascope. i couldn't hear it for my own pulse and T. thought he might have heard/felt it too. so Selena lent us the fetascope to try at home til we hear it since i don't want to use the doppler (a smaller portable ultrasound device).
we met Sarah, our midwife's assistant and our childbirth prep instructor, and her 6 month old daughter Samaya and her husband Daoud (sp?), who is Cham Vietnamese. as it turns out, his sister works for a sister-organization of mine. small small world. have i mentioned how loving our midwife is? our birth team is coming together and it's comforting to feel the relationship is grounded in community.
last night, we hung out with T's family (ba mẹ mợ 2 má 4--just got here from VN again--anh chị họ) and i was happy to confirm that chị Trinh, his cousin Hoàng's spouse, is very close to me in pregnancy. yay! somemama to share with! she's 17 weeks along and her due date is mid-February. we traded some pregnancy stories. they recently moved from Union City to down the block from Trung's parents. in addition to having more family in walking distance, it helps to normalize pregnancy with his parents. there haven't been many babies in this generation just yet, just T's mini-me who is 10 now. so it was a happy time. and i got to hear lots of T. & siblings' babyhood stories and discovered the origins of his affiinity for thịt kho chuối chín|pork stew with ripe bananas. and má 4 kept squeezing my forearm in the way vinamese female elders do she was so happy. we introduced the idea that we have a doctor (sorta) and a bà đỡ đễ or bà mụ|midwife (also means the Goddess believed to give shape to and protect babies. cool!). we haven't decided yet how much to reveal, though i'd like to avoid more anxiety on their part, i'm disinclined to lie. at least, so far my má who will be there for the homebirth has been accepting of all our decisions especially b/c i take care to ground them in our cultural-historical context and her own experience with natural birth (bro & sis) and medicated birth (me)--though she did scoff a little about going diaperless at least in the US context. it seems that his parents would be receptive and their thinking isn't all that far off from our own, but doctors have a social significance and it may be hard for them to accept that we aren't going that route... we'll see.
apparently the acceptable mốt|môde for Vinamese pregnancies is the muumuu or the empire-waisted muumuu that btw is hella not flattering and makes you look far larger (which is what chị Trinh was wearing, so she looked way bigger than me for all that she is only 2 weeks ahead). and it makes sense that in the tropics you would want to wear something very loose fitting since you are generating your own thermal nuclear source of heat. but we're not in the tropics and the weather has turned cool at night. and, i don't own any muumuus except for the A-line housedress my mama just gave me. [ i recently tried it on for the first time. it's a muumuu. sigh.] so everyone except mợ 2 & má 4 commented on my fitted tshirt & pants. (fitted clothes have the optical illusion of making you seem smaller than the empire waisted loose waist ones.) so i had to show each one of them the elastic waistband to convince them that it was maternity and comfortable. and still they felt i should really be wearing a muumuu. later chị Trinh asked me where i got my pants. so at least the other bà bầu doesn't think muumuus are de rigeur.
i know. this blog has become less sardonic, ironic, pop culture-tinged commentary and more pregnancy journal. at least i'm still sardonic & ironic about the whole thing.
so now we collectively estimate that i'm 15 weeks along, making our due date March 1st. (this means Liz, that i wasn't pregnant yet when we saw you at Yan's 100 days.) Selena suggested i consider continuing hypnotherapy with Nancy (herself a former midwife) since emotional state profoundly influences birth and Anabelle's anniversary may jumpstart or stall labor. but between my out-of-pocket costs--prenatal bellydancing, tai chi class, going to chiro, childbirth preparation class, baby CPR certification, acupuncture co-pays, maternity clothes (!) and compensating the midwife (who is worth so much more than we can afford)--we can't afford it.
though my Uterus has obligingly cooperated by moving to the center of my abdomen, off of my herniated disk/sciatic nerve, she still is tilted way back. Selena palpated and faintly heard/felt bé's heartbeat with a fetascope. i couldn't hear it for my own pulse and T. thought he might have heard/felt it too. so Selena lent us the fetascope to try at home til we hear it since i don't want to use the doppler (a smaller portable ultrasound device).
we met Sarah, our midwife's assistant and our childbirth prep instructor, and her 6 month old daughter Samaya and her husband Daoud (sp?), who is Cham Vietnamese. as it turns out, his sister works for a sister-organization of mine. small small world. have i mentioned how loving our midwife is? our birth team is coming together and it's comforting to feel the relationship is grounded in community.
last night, we hung out with T's family (ba mẹ mợ 2 má 4--just got here from VN again--anh chị họ) and i was happy to confirm that chị Trinh, his cousin Hoàng's spouse, is very close to me in pregnancy. yay! somemama to share with! she's 17 weeks along and her due date is mid-February. we traded some pregnancy stories. they recently moved from Union City to down the block from Trung's parents. in addition to having more family in walking distance, it helps to normalize pregnancy with his parents. there haven't been many babies in this generation just yet, just T's mini-me who is 10 now. so it was a happy time. and i got to hear lots of T. & siblings' babyhood stories and discovered the origins of his affiinity for thịt kho chuối chín|pork stew with ripe bananas. and má 4 kept squeezing my forearm in the way vinamese female elders do she was so happy. we introduced the idea that we have a doctor (sorta) and a bà đỡ đễ or bà mụ|midwife (also means the Goddess believed to give shape to and protect babies. cool!). we haven't decided yet how much to reveal, though i'd like to avoid more anxiety on their part, i'm disinclined to lie. at least, so far my má who will be there for the homebirth has been accepting of all our decisions especially b/c i take care to ground them in our cultural-historical context and her own experience with natural birth (bro & sis) and medicated birth (me)--though she did scoff a little about going diaperless at least in the US context. it seems that his parents would be receptive and their thinking isn't all that far off from our own, but doctors have a social significance and it may be hard for them to accept that we aren't going that route... we'll see.
apparently the acceptable mốt|môde for Vinamese pregnancies is the muumuu or the empire-waisted muumuu that btw is hella not flattering and makes you look far larger (which is what chị Trinh was wearing, so she looked way bigger than me for all that she is only 2 weeks ahead). and it makes sense that in the tropics you would want to wear something very loose fitting since you are generating your own thermal nuclear source of heat. but we're not in the tropics and the weather has turned cool at night. and, i don't own any muumuus except for the A-line housedress my mama just gave me. [ i recently tried it on for the first time. it's a muumuu. sigh.] so everyone except mợ 2 & má 4 commented on my fitted tshirt & pants. (fitted clothes have the optical illusion of making you seem smaller than the empire waisted loose waist ones.) so i had to show each one of them the elastic waistband to convince them that it was maternity and comfortable. and still they felt i should really be wearing a muumuu. later chị Trinh asked me where i got my pants. so at least the other bà bầu doesn't think muumuus are de rigeur.
i know. this blog has become less sardonic, ironic, pop culture-tinged commentary and more pregnancy journal. at least i'm still sardonic & ironic about the whole thing.
Friday, September 7, 2007
salt fiend
it's my kryptonite.
for those of you who met my brother in 200X you already know that i used to drink soy sauce. more accurately, Maggi. the saltier french version. used to swig it straight from the bottle.
for those of you who met my brother in 200X you already know that i used to drink soy sauce. more accurately, Maggi. the saltier french version. used to swig it straight from the bottle.
the color of grief
colorless filament in solitudeenigmatic wellspring depths
ombre crossover among the ebon
coarsened through time
Thursday, September 6, 2007
plastic morals
i'm utterly scandalized by the series of Mattel recalls.
now, they are doing it voluntarily. is it because they care about children's health? nope. it's because they are afraid of the liability--the lawsuits & backlash that will be generated from the scandal mongering publicity.
it's quite easy to point the finger at China for shoddy manufacturing standards. and yes, it is shady on China's part and it's also the case that the US loves to scapegoat China for economic ills since the 1700s. however let's look a little deeper. Mattel is recalling voluntary while the government remains curiously silent (let's contrast this govt response to the E. Coli breakout in processed spinach or other contagious diseases like mad cow, hoof & mouth, drug-resistant TB...). we could also ask how could our government allow this to happen?
after all 85% of the world's toys are made in China and not one of the European and other industrialized countries are issuing recalls. huh? why the disparity? weo, our government does not have strict regulations on importing toxins in manufactured products because of the powerful chemical industry lobby. The European Union, Korea, Taiwan, among others have evidence-based (from American scientists btw) strict bans on lead, endocrine-disrupters (phthlates), carcinogens and other toxins in children's toys. the US ignores the same evidence (or are bribed by the chemical industry to ignore) and allows toxins in all plastic products. the same Chinese manufacturer which is producing a toxin-free toy for export to Europe is also manufacturing the identical toxin-laden toy for US export.
now it's easy to compartmentalize this as an issue of children's health or of pet health as the case may be, but it's a human health issue, an ecological issue. these phthlates, carcinogens, toxic chemicals are present in most (if not all) plastics and many common consumer products, mattresses & furniture, cleaning products, cosmetics/nail polish, etc. it's almost completely unregulated--except of course what little consumer products the US manufactures for export, since most of that is regulated by other countries' standards to exclude toxic chemicals. in fact the European Union dumps all the toxic toys (and other consumer products) they don't allow in their countries to the US market. ironic right?
now, they are doing it voluntarily. is it because they care about children's health? nope. it's because they are afraid of the liability--the lawsuits & backlash that will be generated from the scandal mongering publicity.
it's quite easy to point the finger at China for shoddy manufacturing standards. and yes, it is shady on China's part and it's also the case that the US loves to scapegoat China for economic ills since the 1700s. however let's look a little deeper. Mattel is recalling voluntary while the government remains curiously silent (let's contrast this govt response to the E. Coli breakout in processed spinach or other contagious diseases like mad cow, hoof & mouth, drug-resistant TB...). we could also ask how could our government allow this to happen?
after all 85% of the world's toys are made in China and not one of the European and other industrialized countries are issuing recalls. huh? why the disparity? weo, our government does not have strict regulations on importing toxins in manufactured products because of the powerful chemical industry lobby. The European Union, Korea, Taiwan, among others have evidence-based (from American scientists btw) strict bans on lead, endocrine-disrupters (phthlates), carcinogens and other toxins in children's toys. the US ignores the same evidence (or are bribed by the chemical industry to ignore) and allows toxins in all plastic products. the same Chinese manufacturer which is producing a toxin-free toy for export to Europe is also manufacturing the identical toxin-laden toy for US export.
now it's easy to compartmentalize this as an issue of children's health or of pet health as the case may be, but it's a human health issue, an ecological issue. these phthlates, carcinogens, toxic chemicals are present in most (if not all) plastics and many common consumer products, mattresses & furniture, cleaning products, cosmetics/nail polish, etc. it's almost completely unregulated--except of course what little consumer products the US manufactures for export, since most of that is regulated by other countries' standards to exclude toxic chemicals. in fact the European Union dumps all the toxic toys (and other consumer products) they don't allow in their countries to the US market. ironic right?
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