stupid power tridux

so i have realized my other stupid power.* i have the distinct ability to make multiple analogies or metaphors relating to any given situation to accentuate, clarify, elucidate and obfuscate my intended communicative meaning. T. would say "the hyperbolic ability", but i think he is exaggerating. for the most part, this stupid power only manifests its ad infinitum extent in T.'s presence. prolly cuz i talk with him the most--in the morning as soon as i wake up (sometimes after he wakes up), in the car on the way to work (we work on the same block), during lunch, on the way to the parking garage, on the ride home, over dinner. we're nauseatingly cute lik dat. you get the idea.

example:
we are having homemade bún thịt bò xả|lemongrass beef noodles for our daily lunch together. i point out the blemish on the remaining half of the cucumber as T. is poised to slice. rather than divot out the spot, he cuts off the blemish and approximately 1/4 of the cucumber lengthwise. thus, wasting cucumber (a precious resource) and exposing the inner portion of the unused cucumber to dry out in the air (that will later have to be cut off before consumption).

me: that's like getting a papercut and cutting off the whole hand.
t (half chokes on his food, indignant but knows its true): not it's not.
me: now what are you going to do with the rest of the arm, dude? its hemorrhaging.
t (spluttering): it's not hemorrhaging.
me: that [unused] piece will dry out--
t: just cut the dry part off before you eat it.
me: so what ya gonna cut it off to the elbow? so wasteful.
to spite me, he eats the amputated portion of the cucumber around the blemish and the rest of the cucumber reserved for another meal.

really, when you think about it, my 2nd stupid power is an extension of this metaphoric ability on a historical, cultural, societal, literary, and infinitely tangential scale.

*a stupid power is a) useless though entertaining, at least to me, and b) could, potentially, under the right circumstances, at the last minute, under great duress, defeat Evil and Save The Day.